Learning After Undergrad: What About Your Friends?

Let's start off with this, the lovely ladies of TLC droppin' some knowledge on the people:


(GAWD, I love old-school TLC!) I love this video becauseof the message: if a friend is down from the beginning, they'll stay down, as long as they "stand their ground" and continue to "be around."

This becomes even more true after you graduate from college. I'm a steadfast friend -- I can't help it, I'm a Capricorn, and we're known for our loyalty -- and I expected that the friends I had post undergrad would be my friends for life. Because I did a purge in high school to weed out the friends that I knew couldn't or wouldn't stick it out. Because I swore to myself that after graduation I would take the time to cultivate and maintain the friendships that I wanted to be lasting.

I've had my heart broken recently by people who I thought would be lasting friends. (A good way to tell if someone is a lasting friend is to consider whether you would go out of your way to invite the person to your wedding.) One is a person who I threw away another friendship for, out of loyalty; another is someone that I grew to be friends with post grad.

Now, I'm not a high-maintenance friend -- holla at me through e-mail or over the phone every once in a while and I'm good. I understand that life can sometimes get in the way. But I got friends in low places (sea level Long Island), in high places (hello, Wyo!), and across the globe(Lee, my dawg!) Shoot, I've dated my boyfriend long distance for almost three and a half years now, getting by on a three-day visit every month and nightly phone calls. I'm not asking for much. Just a shout-out, an acknowledgment that the years you spent laughing and crying and arguing meant something, that it wasn't for nothing.

So it pains me to think about the time I invested in these people, only to learn it was a waste. But I guess I should've known -- learning doesn't stop after undergrad.

(And I'm not all that bitter, just sad. But that's life, right?)